We’re honored to offer our services to women and couples throughout the United States. If you live in Oregon or Washington and would like to meet in person we have offices in Portland and Eugene, Oregon and Seattle, Washington or we’ll come to you. We can also meet via Skype. (OA&FS can place children in adoption up to the age of three and one-half.)
LifeLong Adoptions supports three types of adoption: open adoption, semi-open adoption, and closed adoption. Each birthmother chooses the type of adoption she would like to have. We then ensure she is matched with an adoptive family that is interested in the same type of adoption. Though you may prefer a specific adoption type, it is beneficial to remain open minded in case the birthmother who choses you prefers a different arrangement.
Although open adoptions are thought to be a relatively new phenomenon, most adoptions in the United States until the twentieth century were open. Until the 1930s, most adoptive parents and biological parents had contact at least during the adoption process. In many cases, adoption was seen as a social support: young children were adopted out not only to help their parents (by reducing the number of children they had to support) but also to help another family by providing an apprentice.
If anything, openness appears to help kids understand adoption; relieve the fears of adoptive parents; and help birth mothers resolve their grief, according to researchers Harold D. Grotevant and Ruth G. McRoy. “Many of the fears about open adoption do not seem to be a problem,” said Grotevant, a professor at the University of Minnesota and co-author with McRoy of Openness in Adoption: Exploring Family Connections.
In virtually all cases, the decision is up to the adoptive parents regarding how to inform the child that he or she has been adopted, and at what age to do so, if at all. Although a non-profit adoption agency (if one is used) might mail newsletters and solicit funds from the parents, traditionally, it has been extremely rare for them to communicate directly with the child (usually, adoption agencies do not contain the word "adoption" in their name).
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But closed adoptions meant that birth parents were left wondering if the child they placed for adoption had grown up healthy and happy with a loving family. Adoptees had no medical history to rely on, nor any answers about the circumstances leading to their adoption. The lack of information made it difficult for birth parents and adoptive families to contact one another if they wanted to meet later on in life.
Many birth mothers do more than just meet the adoptive parents once before the birth. If they live close enough to each other it is not uncommon for the birth mother to invite the adoptive mother (or adoptive father too if the birth mother wishes) to come to her doctor appointments. This may allow all parties to the adoption a chance to bond. Adoptive parents may be present for the delivery if that is the birth mother's wish.
When selecting an adoptive home for a child, DCS considers which home would best meet the safety, social, emotional, physical and mental health needs of the child. An important distinction to keep in mind is that it is DCS’ responsibility to find families for children, not to find children for families. In other words, the Department’s focus is on determining who can best meet the needs of the child.
Birth and adoptive families are counseled about the importance of honoring one’s word in open adoption agreements through American Adoptions. If, for some reason, contact is lost and one party is unable to reach the other, we’ll hold any correspondence intended for them for up to 18 years in case they notify us and request to receive that communication and want to get back in touch.
Semi-open adoption is the practice in which information, generally non-identifying, is shared between adoptive families and birthmothers. Usually semi-open adoption consists of the exchange of letters, photos, and emails, either directly or through a third party. It is not unheard of to have some pre-birth, face-to-face meetings or for the birthparents and adoptive parents to spend time together at the hospital during and after the birth.
It’s also important to look at the big picture when finding an adoptive home for a child. For example, does the child have brothers and/or sisters who also need an adoptive home? Can all the siblings be placed together? Are there any relatives with whom the child may be placed? Are there people with whom the child has an existing relationship, perhaps a former foster parent or teacher? Another important consideration is the wishes of the child; in Arizona children age 12 or older must agree to being adopted
In 2013, the film Philomena based on the book The Lost Child of Philomena Lee, opened in cinemas worldwide. It tells the true story of Philomena's 50-year-long search for her forcefully adopted Irish infant son, who was sent to the United States. She is eventually assisted by BBC journalist Martin Sixsmith, which takes up the majority of the film. Starring Judi Dench as Philomena and Steve Coogan as Sixsmith, it was nominated for four American and four British Academy Awards.
After taking adoption training courses, reading books, talking to fellow adoptive parents, and listening to the stories of birth parents and people who themselves were adopted, I decided that open adoption wasn’t nearly as bad as I was making it out to be. It could be beautiful. It would give my son the missing link that people in closed adoptions never had access to. It would open our world and grow our family.
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