Jennifer S. Jones is a writer, performer, storyteller, and arts educator. In a small government office in China, Jennifer became an adoptive mother. She is passionate about the adoption community and talks about the ins and outs, ups and downs, joys and “Is this really us?!?” whenever she can. She writes about her experiences at www.letterstojack.com.
If you are new to the topic of adoption or are currently in the beginning stages of your adoption process, a question that has most likely crossed your mind is, “Why is the adoption process so expensive?” If there are millions of waiting children in the world, why must it often cost tens of thousands of dollars to help bring them into the love and protection of a family?
Bring others on your journey! Social media is a very powerful outlet for people to raise funds. You need to be active in your adoption journey and social media is a great way to remain active and create community. As you post, you must have realistic expectations. Share everyday – In general, maybe 20% of your friends will see your posts, so don’t get upset if you don’t receive a lot of interaction. Be honest about what you are using the funds for and make a breakdown of what all the fees were used for. I shared every step of our journey on social media for all to see. I kept everyone updated with details about the process. Each time I paid a fee, I posted a photo of the check amount and what it was going toward. I had so many people thank me for my honesty and openness. They felt more inclined to give and and many donated multiple times because they knew exactly what I was using the funds for. I was very careful about what our family spent money on. It is important to sacrifice and save, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ever go out for an ice cream. You just don’t need to post that on social media. Also, one thing that worked for me may not work for you. Research and find ideas that other families have done, and choose the ones that feel like a good fit for you and your network. Ask for help from friends and family, but don’t expect it or assume everyone will want to be involved.
– Travel Expenses – As seems to be the theme of this article, this number will depend on what country you are adopting from. Some countries require more than one visit before you are able to complete your adoption. Some countries require longer stays than others. Again, make sure to discuss with your agency what travel will be expected of you before deciding on what country you wish to adopt from. Travel costs can range from $5,000 to $10,000.
For example: If you give birth to your child biologically, an official will not come to your house to ensure that you have a pool fence. But if you adopt, a social worker will make sure that your entire home is baby-proofed before you bring the baby home. "There's an element of mistrust in the adoption process, but when someone is born biologically we just assume that everything is fine," Juntunen says.
Most importantly, are you ready to give your adopted child endless amounts of unconditional love and support for a lifetime? While all families are not created equally, all children are and have similar wants and needs. You’re going to have too many blissful days to count, boatloads of infant/toddler/childhood/teen testing moments, and more than your share of life-got-in-the-way ups and downs to maneuver. Are you also ready to accept the great responsibilities of ensuring that you honor your adopted child’s past, culture, and questions and concerns that are sure to come up over the course of your lifetime together?
Coat color. Regardless of hair length, cats shed. If you're someone who has a pristine white or light-colored living room and wish to keep it that way, you probably wouldn't be happy with a dark-colored cat. Similarly, if your wardrobe includes a lot of black or navy and you plan to cuddle your kitty, you should probably skip a white or light-colored cat.
Kittens, like puppies, benefit from having a litter of mates for playing, cuddling, and for providing interesting games when no humans are home. So if you want a kitten, it might be best to have two that can socialize as siblings. Young kittens don't always get full training from mom on using the litter box, but two cats together can sometimes help influence each other in this regard.
Adoption creates forever families. Like so many other big commitments, it is one you should feel from the top of your head to the tips of your toes and enter into knowing that like so many other big commitments, it is a decision that will not only affect you, but a child as well—for life. In other words, adoption should not be something entered into until you’ve considered all of the pros and cons and you’re fully prepared to be a family to a child. And while the most obvious and important question to weigh is whether or not you are ready to become a parent, the answer usually isn’t quite as simple as a yes or a no. Before you decide to adopt, ask yourself the following:
There are many options out there for covering adoption costs. Some people have worked a second job, made significant cuts in their spending, or saved for several years in order to finance an adoption. Others have taken out loans, borrowed against their 401K, or taken advantage of an employer’s adoption benefits. Adoption grants are out there, but there are far more applicants than funds available, so grants cannot be counted on for funding. Finally, some people do fundraise, though within the adoption community, this has a very mixed reception. And remember, as you will see, some forms of adoption cost less than others. If you qualify for adopting from foster care, and that is something that fits your family, then it can be an affordable adoption option.
American Adoptions, a private adoption agency founded on the belief that lives of children can be bettered through adoption, provides safe adoption services to children, birth parents and adoptive families by educating, supporting and coordinating necessary services for adoptions throughout the United States. For more information on American Adoptions, please call 1-800-ADOPTION (236-7846)
Part of what drives up agency costs is the fact that adoption professionals need to specialize. For instance, as a birth parent, I had a social worker who only worked with birth parents, and my son's adoptive parents had a social worker who only worked with adoptive parents. This prevented a conflict of interest for our social workers; mine didn't have pre-adoptive parents whispering in her ear. As Kelly Ellison of Your Adoption Finance Coach puts it, “Each professional involved in the process does a specific job, and that's how the prices go up.”
All adoptions journeys are not the same, nor are the rules, requirements, and restrictions that go along with the various processes. Are you interested in infant adoption? Older child? Special needs? Sibling group? Domestic? International? Don’t rely on internet searches. Start reaching out to your local adoption community and support groups. Seek legal guidance for the answers to questions you have concerning what sort of adoptions are available to you in your country/state. Navigating adoption can be confusing and time consuming. By getting good advice and the correct answers up front, you’ll be doing yourself and your adopted child a huge favor.
A highly affectionate or high-energy cat is a great companion for a homebody. Those with plentiful free time and the virtue of patience can keep up with a rambunctious kitten that will zip around the house, bat toys around, and playfully attack your fingers. If you're looking for a feline friend to share the couch with you at the end of a long day, consider adopting a quiet and loving cat.
For private domestic adoption, whether you work independently or with an agency, you can expect advertising fees. Advertising fees may include classified ads, video production, or the construction of a website. You may choose to do this independently or work with a consultant. Consultants cost more but may yield better results and quicker matches. There are legal fees for both the adoptive family and the birth mother (which the adoptive family usually cover), document authentication fees for the compilation of your home study, and required legal document filing. Birth mother fees may include medical expenses, living expenses, counseling, and prenatal and postnatal care. Once the child is born, there will be airline and hotel fees, which vary greatly depending on where the birth mother resides.
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Non-identifying details about the birth parents (including their general background, education, employment, armed services history; social or medical risk factors, drug usage, medical and mental health history, other children, and extended birth family history). Also inquire about the birth mother’s care during pregnancy, and any risk factors for the child due to the mother’s experiences during pregnancy or complications during delivery.
I tend to think that particular laws and regulations have been less significant factors in the cost of domestic adoptions than broader technological, legal, and cultural changes, including the availability of effective contraception… the legalization of abortion… and the sexual revolution, all of which decreased the availability of adoptable children.
Temperament and personality. Do you prefer a cat that is friendly and outgoing, or one that keeps more to herself? Does she need to get along well with children or other pets, or will she be an only cat? Do you want her to be energetic and playful, or more calm and laid back? Would you like her to be talkative or would you rather she be quiet? These characteristics have a lot more bearing on how happy you'll be with your new kitty than superficial traits like what her coat looks like, so it's important to determine your preferences before visiting the shelter. Luckily shelters allow and encourage you to interact with the cats before adopting in a cat-designated room. This will help you better determine her temperament. If she is open and apt to playing with toys, she probably is pretty outgoing. If she hides in the corner, she probably will take some time to warm up to you. If she is very friendly, purring and letting you pet her, she is likely a great cuddle buddy.
It’s a fair question, and we’re here to help you find an answer. While the initial reaction to learning about the cost of adoption is understandable, a better understanding of what it takes to complete a successful adoption process makes clear why the cost exists. The adoption process can be long and complicated. In most cases, it takes a lot of moving parts and skilled professionals to complete. To understand why adoption costs so much, you have to understand what it takes to complete the process.
Adoption agencies do not expect the entire cost of an adoption to be paid "up front." For example, an agency might divide payment into three portions, with one-third of the total amount to be paid when filing the initial application, one- third at completion of the homestudy process, and one- third when the child is placed and the post placement supervision period begins. Budgeted over time, these costs will not make such a big dent in money you may be saving for the costs of raising a child. When fees are linked to a specific service or part of the process, the family is also in a better position when something unexpected happens, such as an agency suddenly going out of business. Ask specific agencies about their payment plans when you are selecting an agency.
These are a central factor to the question, “Why does adoption cost so much money?” Variable adoption costs are comprised of expenses that can change in each unique adoption situation. Typically, these are fees paid toward needs of the prospective birth mother. The amount of variable adoption costs incurred in a given adoption situation will be dependent on the birth mother’s unique needs, as well as what is allowed by the adoption laws in her state. Some of these costs can be things like:
When asked a question that feels too personal or improper, you have the right not to answer it -- particularly if it compromises your child's, the birth mother's, or your own privacy. But sometimes you can find a way to respond to a question that's in the best interest of your family and offers some important information about adoption. For instance, when asked "How much did you pay for your baby?" you can explain that the fees you paid your agency and/or orphanage (you don't have to disclose the amount) went toward the facilitation of your adoption and to the early care of your child. In a sense, they're similar to what a pregnant woman pays to her doctor and hospital, you can add.
Once the child is born, the prospective adoptive parents will need to handle adoption costs associated with post placement. Many states require that prospective adoptive parents pay for counseling for birth mothers after placement. They will also be required to pay for post-placement visits. These post-placement visits are done typically by the licensed adoption professional who conducted their home study. They may occur within a week after the child is brought home and often continues once a month until finalization, though the frequency will vary by state. The visits can range in price depending on the state and the agency performing the visit.
Every birth parent should meet with an objective counselor who can discuss parenting and adoption options. If they decide on an adoption, they should be able to work with a counselor who will oversee their medical care, be the liaison with the adoptive parent’s counselor or attorney regarding the birth parent’s needs and provide ongoing emotional support to the birth parent.
The average agency adoption can cost anywhere from $20,000 to $40,000. Now, before you get blown away by that number, let’s explore what costs are covered by this number. An agency adoption completes the entire adoption process from start to end. These individuals are licensed and trained in their field. They have experienced numerous different types of scenarios regarding adoption and are prepared to be with you every step of the way. However, let me urge you to know what costs are expected out of you upfront. Most adoption agencies will have a fee schedule notifying you of what to expect. This is usually laid out in one of your first meetings with your agency or through your informational/parenting classes that are required by your agency. I will also advise you to find an agency you feel comfortable working with. Adoption is a very personal experience and working with someone you can trust is very important. Again, I reiterate, find someone you feel comfortable with and trust and get a detailed description of the costs and fees associated with each adoption.
In cases of domestic infant adoption, prospective adoptive parents may be obligated to pay birth mother expenses. These birth mother expenses are typically defined as any pregnancy-related expenses that need to be covered during the expectant mother’s pregnancy and for a short period after the birth of her child. These expenses often include maternity clothes, medical care related to the pregnancy, and often some living expenses such as utility bills and rent. There are states in which birth mother expenses are not required and others where the amount is regulated. There are also some situations in which the birth mother may choose to waive the acceptance of birth mother expense compensation. You can find out more about birth mother expenses in your state at this link.
And it's not because there are fewer children up for adoption. In 2013, there were 7,092 worldwide adoptions. "The 2014 numbers arent out yet," international adoption attorney and director of outreach and advocacy for Both Ends Burning Kelly Dempsey told BuzzFeed Life. "But I anticipate lower numbers for this past year—maybe around 5,000 successful adoptions."
In considering your original cat’s personality, your shy cat could be overwhelmed by a bossy cat, and your bossy house cat may be likely to bully a shy newcomer. It is possible to successfully introduce cats. Sometimes adding a cat to the family is unavoidable. If you’re getting married, for example, and if you both have cats, then the merger is a must.
Lita Jordan is a master of all things "home." A work-from-home, stay-at-home, homeschooling mother of five. She has a BA in Youth Ministry from Spring Arbor University. She is married to the "other Michael Jordan" and lives on coffee and its unrealistic promises of productivity. Lita enjoys playing guitar and long trips to Target. Follow her on Facebook.
Even if you have pure intentions and sincerely want to take care of a child, you should consider whether you are in a stable enough situation to provide for a child. Parents are responsible for providing for their children financially, emotionally, and physically. Be honest with yourself. Do you have the funds, time, and emotional capability to care for a child throughout his or her life?
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Special needs. Special needs cats include senior cats with ailments that are common to aging, blind, deaf, or disabled cats, and those with chronic health conditions. While your heart might go out to such a cat at the shelter, it's important to bear in mind that cats with special needs will need more of your time and attention, and might also need regular veterinary care and medication that can be costly. Before taking on such a challenge, be honest with yourself about whether there's room in both your schedule and your budget to realistically accommodate the cat's needs.