11. Before even beginning the process, know this: You are in this for the long haul. If your child develops in a way you did not expect, you are still their parent. Do not assume that you can do anything with your child through adoption that you would not/could not do with a child from birth. Yes. Adoption can be difficult. As I mentioned, there are always scars. Often times those scars can cause behaviors and emotions that are incredibly challenging. You need to know that before you sign on the dotted line. If you would not “return” a child born to you with a severe disability, don’t expect to “return” a child from adoption who is emotionally scarred. If your child needs a level of support that you cannot provide by yourself, it is your job to find the necessary resources AND continue to support the child as a parent should.
Explores some of the emotional ups and downs that adoptive parents may experience before, during, and after adoption. While every family is unique and every parent has different feelings and experiences, there are some general themes that emerge regarding adoptive parents' emotional responses. The purpose of the factsheet is to identify some of these themes, affirm common feelings, and provide links to resources that may help your family address adoption-related concerns.
There are many grants available to families for all types of situations. An amazing list of grants is available HERE. Each grant requires families to fit specific criteria to be considered and awarded funds. Make sure to read each grant requirement carefully and find one (or more!) that is best for you. It is a great idea to try and apply for a matching grant. Through this type of grant, people can donate money for a tax deduction and then the grant foundation matches it. We received a matching grant for $5,000, so they received $5,000 in donation to the foundation, and they sent us a check for a total of $10,000. This was a huge boost for our fundraising campaign.
After the legwork of adoption eligibility is completed, the adoption cost moving forward will largely depend on if the prospective adoptive parents are already matched or need to be matched. If the prospective adoptive parents need to be matched with a birth mother, the agency or attorney will often require a match fee. This fee allows for the agency or attorney to work, on the prospective adoptive parent’s behalf, to advertise them to expectant mothers as a potential placement for their child. There will also likely be birth mother expenses that prospective adoptive parents are obligated to pay under their state law. These expenses go towards pregnancy-related expenses such as medical care, maternity clothes, and some living expenses. The adoption cost related to birth mother expenses will be determined by the state and may be waived in some instances. Some states put a cap on the amount of birth parent expenses that are allowed. To see what birth mother expenses your state requires, you can review that information on this link.