20. Adoption is still a subject that requires some careful treading in many circles. People will tell you that the issue you are facing is a normal, age-appropriate issue. That may well be true, but adoption adds another layer and you, as the parent, must be prepared to dig in and work through the issue with your child. Other people will respond to adoption thoughtlessly (the grandparent who treats children who were adopted differently, the teacher who points out your child any time adoption is a topic, the neighbor who is uncomfortably nosy). In choosing to adopt, you are also choosing to be both your child’s protector and your child’s advocate. You will be responsible for educating the uncouth teacher and nosy neighbor. It is your job to have the difficult conversation with the thoughtless grandparent.
Asking friends and family to donate to your garage sale can be an amazing way to raise funds for your adoption. Hosting online actions on social media can also help you reach a larger crowd. You can ask your friends who have services or items they create or sell to donate to your auction and appreciate the free marketing and advertising you provide on their behalf with their items and services. For our Yard Sales, we asked all of our friends and family to donate unwanted items that they no longer needed. We had an outpouring of donations. We also asked friends and family to donate baked goods and had a bake sale at our Yard Sale. On the same day of our Yard Sale, we advertised for a car wash at a local grocery store. Between both events we raised almost $6,000 in one day. I set up a Square account and people gave/donated more because they could use a debt/credit card.
If you network or adopt from out of state, there is a potential to make several trips to the other state—to meet the birth parent(s), take custody of your child and possibly to finalize the adoption. While you could stay with family or friends, if they live locally, most Adoptive Parents stay in hotels. By keeping your adoption local, you limit airfare, car expenses, hotel and other “away from home” costs.
If you want to help change the system, join others who are already working in that area. Contact the parent groups in your area (find a database of groups at this link) to find out what they are doing or if they know of other advocacy groups you can get involved with. To report a specific problem, contact your adoption manager or the NACAC representative in your state. You may also want to contact one of AdoptUsKids’ Training and Technical Assistance consultants (a directory of staff and consultants is available at AdoptUsKids: Permanency - Tools and Resources).
While many families are interested in international adoption, in recent years there have been revisions in adoption protocols which make it more difficult for Americans to adopt from other countries and has resulted in a lower number of international adoptions. In 2017, continuing on the downward trend, there were only 4,714 children adopted internationally.
Adoption agencies do not expect the entire cost of an adoption to be paid "up front." For example, an agency might divide payment into three portions, with one-third of the total amount to be paid when filing the initial application, one- third at completion of the homestudy process, and one- third when the child is placed and the post placement supervision period begins. Budgeted over time, these costs will not make such a big dent in money you may be saving for the costs of raising a child. When fees are linked to a specific service or part of the process, the family is also in a better position when something unexpected happens, such as an agency suddenly going out of business. Ask specific agencies about their payment plans when you are selecting an agency.