4. Some people will treat you like you are not a real family. Our first social worker—I said SOCIAL WORKER—was pregnant. She constantly communicated to us that while she was forming a family, we were apparently playing house. When she did a home visit, 8 months pregnant, she stopped at the nursery and said, “Oh…hmmmm…I guess I wouldn’t recommend setting up room for a child since, you know, you might not get one.” Before firing her, I asked, “Do you have a nursery set up?” “Yes,” she said, pointing to her swollen belly, “But, you know, mine’s a sure thing.” Ouch.
There are many grants available to families for all types of situations. An amazing list of grants is available HERE. Each grant requires families to fit specific criteria to be considered and awarded funds. Make sure to read each grant requirement carefully and find one (or more!) that is best for you. It is a great idea to try and apply for a matching grant. Through this type of grant, people can donate money for a tax deduction and then the grant foundation matches it. We received a matching grant for $5,000, so they received $5,000 in donation to the foundation, and they sent us a check for a total of $10,000. This was a huge boost for our fundraising campaign.
My son's adoptive parents didn't pay any of these expenses for me when I was a birth mother; my agency covered my medical bills and gave me a MetroCard every time I visited them. (My son's parents paid the agency a flat fee; my costs weren't broken down and passed onto them.) As broke as I was, I’m glad I wasn’t receiving any further assistance from the adoptive family, as I think it would have made my decision murkier and more difficult. However, whether through an attorney or an agency, birth-mother expenses cost adoptive families an average of $4,000-$5,000.
Discusses the impact of adoption on adopted persons who have reached adulthood. There are several themes that emerge from personal accounts and data from academic studies about issues that adopted persons may face. This factsheet addresses these themes, which include loss, the development of identity and self-esteem, interest in genetic information, and managing adoption issues.
"In many states, we can determine that someone is eligible to buy a gun in less than 4 hours," Craig Juntunen—founder and CEO of the global advocacy organization Both Ends Burning and executive producer of the documentary STUCK—told BuzzFeed Life. "But during the 3 years that an adoptive family is being proven eligible, the adoptive child is losing developmental days that they will never get back."
We are social animals, so it seems natural to us that our cats would enjoy socialization, too. With few exceptions, though, the adult wild and domestic cats lead mostly solitary lives. They can be happy in groups, but they don’t automatically seek companionship with other cats the same way dogs do. Before you decide to add a second cat to your home, ask yourself if your cat needs a friend and if you are prepared to meet the needs of multiple cats.
Private domestic adoption costs vary from adoption to adoption and state to state. An agency fee ranges from $15,000 – 30,000. Additional costs for birth parent expenses (i.e. medical, rent, living expenses, phone, etc.) are set on a case-by-case basis. The adopting parent(s) pays for the Adoption Home Study and Post Placement Supervisory Visits, travel, as well as legal counsel for themselves and the birth parent(s). Private placement adoption costs are between $25,000 – 50,000.
If you are new to the topic of adoption or are currently in the beginning stages of your adoption process, a question that has most likely crossed your mind is, “Why is the adoption process so expensive?” If there are millions of waiting children in the world, why must it often cost tens of thousands of dollars to help bring them into the love and protection of a family?
Adopting Parents pursuing private US newborn adoptions are warned of the possibilities of an adoption opportunity disrupting. This is a heartbreaking event and for Adopting Parents an adoption disruption can leave them in a situation where they have paid for a Birth Mother’s expenses and are now unable to complete the adoption. Financially, this can be further devastating if they now find themselves unable to move forward with another adoption opportunity because of their inability to pay for additional Birth Mother expenses.
Overall, it's clear that money plays a huge role in adoption. The Donaldson Adoption Institute recently released a presentation highlighting some of the problems with adoption today, including the role of privilege and money. According to this presentation, "more than two-thirds of the adoption community believe privilege and money distort adoption." (You can read more about the DAI's Let's Adopt Reform initiative, or sign their open letter, which aims to change the way we talk about adoption.)
5. Your "baby book" may not begin at birth. If you're planning to be at your child's birth or to adopt her as a newborn, then you'll be fortunate enough to have some very early photos of your baby. In this case, your baby book may also include pictures of your child's birth mother and possibly her birth father. But if you're adopting an older baby, or perhaps an older child, you may not have access to many early baby pictures. (For instance, if you're adopting a child from overseas, you may have only the referral photo you were sent, and possibly one or two others.) On the other hand, your child's baby book will probably include lots of pictures from the day you adopted her and/or the day you brought her home and of the people who cared for her in a foster family or orphanage.
6. Your child may celebrate two special days. Often adoptive families celebrate not only their child's birthday but also the day he was adopted. (Sometimes this is called "Adoption Day," "Family Day," or "Gotcha Day.") Whether or not you choose to do something special for Adoption Day is up to you. But some families have a small celebration at home and perhaps look at pictures or a video from the day their child was adopted. Other families get together with their "travel group" (families with whom they traveled to the host country and who adopted on the same day), and have a larger celebration, honoring all their kids.