I emailed them back and got off that mailing list, but the number stuck with me. I'd received a lot of info about my son's adoptive family when I was in the process of placing him, including their occupations, salaries, and debt. However, it had never occurred to me to even think about how much they were paying the agency, or the expense adoption must have meant for them.

AdoptionLife.org is a licensed private agency specializing in infant domestic adoptions. Private adoption agencies, such as AdoptionLife.org, work with expectant parents who have chosen to make an adoption plan. We provide support, counseling and advocacy throughout the entire process. We encourage expectant parents to choose a prospective family for their child based on shared information and regular contact. Private adoption fees average between $30,000-$40,000 and may include the following:


8.  Occasionally, you will meet people whose intentions are not good.  Feel free to tell them it is private, ignore them completely, or in extreme cases, ask them an equally rude question.  Once a lady pointed at my kids and asked, “Where did you get those and how much were they?”  Hoping to educate her on the language a bit, I responded, “They joined our family through adoption.  She pushed, “I can see that, but what’d you do to get them?   I asked, “Are you considering adoption?”  “No,” she responded incredulously, “I just want to know where and how you got ’em.” Sobering up to the situation, I asked, “Do you have children?”   She nodded yes.  I rapidly retorted, “Were they born vaginally or did you have a c-section?  When you conceived them, what position did you use?  How much was the hospital bill?” She walked away and the checker plus the 2 other people in line at the supermarket all applauded. That was the only time I can recall where I felt the need to be rude in response to an adoption question.
Some children have multiple diagnoses that affect their health, social and emotional well-being, and school performance. The more you know, the better prepared you can be to advocate for your child and handle situations as they may arise. Accurate information will also help you know more clearly why and when you may need to seek support from various professionals, get advice from experienced foster and adoptive parents, or tap into other community resources for help.
11. Before even beginning the process, know this: You are in this for the long haul. If your child develops in a way you did not expect, you are still their parent.  Do not assume that you can do anything with your child through adoption that you would not/could not do with a child from birth.  Yes.  Adoption can be difficult.  As I mentioned, there are always scars.  Often times those scars can cause behaviors and emotions that are incredibly challenging.  You need to know that before you sign on the dotted line.  If you would not “return” a child born to you with a severe disability, don’t expect to “return” a child from adoption who is emotionally scarred.  If your child needs a level of support that you cannot provide by yourself, it is your job to find the necessary resources AND continue to support the child as a parent should.
Travel costs are, obviously, a huge cost— about $8,000 on average (which goes up to $10,000 when you factor in your in-country travel expenses). Some programs require multiple visits or require you to stay in the child’s home country for a minimum amount of time, which might be up to several weeks. But there are other non-travel costs driving the cost of international adoption up. The 1993 Hague Convention on the Protection of Children and Co-operation in respect to Intercountry Adoption established international safeguards to prevent child trafficking. This is, obviously, fantastic. It also means a great deal of paperwork to make sure you’re complying with Hague guidelines, and that paperwork costs money to prepare and submit. Your dossier costs $1,500 on average to prepare, according to Spence-Chapin, and another $500-$1,500 to translate if needed.
The National Association of Black Social Workers is adamantly opposed to transracial adoptions, according to The Encyclopedia of Adoption by Christine A. Adamec and Laurie C. Miller. "Those who disapprove of white parents adopting black children believe that white parents cannot truly understand black children, that children will be deprived of their heritage, and that their development will be harmed," Adamec and Miller write in the book. "Supporters of transracial adoption when suitable black adoptive families cannot be identified cite longitudinal studies that indicate black children raised by white parents are generally well-adjusted."
If you're looking to adopt a cat, consider adopting from a shelter rather than purchasing her from a pet store or breeder. For one thing, it's less expensive. The adoption fee usually covers the cost of a health check, vaccinations and spaying or neutering, all of which are typically done before a cat is placed up for adoption. Many shelters also evaluate cat characteristics, such as temperament, prior to making her available, and they can help you select a suitable cat for your household, personality, and lifestyle. Shelters also offer a wide range of cat characteristics, from young to old, long-haired to short-haired, varying colors, coat patterns, and temperaments. Many shelters carry a variety of purebred cats. With so many cats to choose from, however, a cat shelter can be a little overwhelming. Here are some guidelines to help you narrow your selection and make the best match.
Placing a Child for Adoption by Age - ArticlesPutting a Child Up for Adoption At Any AgeCan You Place a 1-Month-Old Up for Adoption? Can I Place My 2-Month-Old Up for Adoption?Can You Place a Child for Adoption at 3 Months? How to Place a 4-Month-Old Up for AdoptionHow to Place a 5-Month-Old for AdoptionCan I Place My 6-Month-Old Up for Adoption?Can I Place My Child for Adoption at 7 Months?Can I Place My 8-Month-Old Up for Adoption?Can I Place My Baby for Adoption at 9 Months Old?More . . .
Special needs. Special needs cats include senior cats with ailments that are common to aging, blind, deaf, or disabled cats, and those with chronic health conditions. While your heart might go out to such a cat at the shelter, it's important to bear in mind that cats with special needs will need more of your time and attention, and might also need regular veterinary care and medication that can be costly. Before taking on such a challenge, be honest with yourself about whether there's room in both your schedule and your budget to realistically accommodate the cat's needs.

These fees vary greatly depending on which agency and country you choose. Additionally, international adoption is often expensive due to the travel involved. You may have host fees, which include the expenses related to your adoption facilitator in-country, airline fees, hotel fees, and cab or driver fees. Once you return home, you may wish to readopt your child. Though your child is legally adopted in his or her country of origin, readoption refers to the legal process through which your child may be re-recognized as your legal child.


There is a lot to learn and many questions to be answered when you decide you want to adopt. Even before you officially think of yourself as “hoping to adopt” there are terms, steps, and questions that every future adoptive parent will need to understand to reach their personal adoption dream successfully. There are many important questions when it comes to adopting a child. It’s wise to learn as much as possible, so you know what to expect!
Adoption is expensive because the process to legally adopt a baby requires the involvement of attorneys, social workers, physicians, government administrators, adoption specialists, counselors and more. While the adoption journey is an emotional one for prospective birth mothers and adoptive families, the adoption process is a legal function. Adoptions completed by fully licensed agencies are held to high ethical standards, which can mean more paperwork and higher costs.
For example: If you give birth to your child biologically, an official will not come to your house to ensure that you have a pool fence. But if you adopt, a social worker will make sure that your entire home is baby-proofed before you bring the baby home. "There's an element of mistrust in the adoption process, but when someone is born biologically we just assume that everything is fine," Juntunen says.

A highly affectionate or high-energy cat is a great companion for a homebody. Those with plentiful free time and the virtue of patience can keep up with a rambunctious kitten that will zip around the house, bat toys around, and playfully attack your fingers. If you're looking for a feline friend to share the couch with you at the end of a long day, consider adopting a quiet and loving cat.
Although you’ll be the head of your household and master of your domain, parenthood is not an island. Single or married, do you have a support system in place—family or friends who will be there for you and back your decision to adopt? Who will embrace your child the same way they would a biological child? Although modern society seems to dictate the notion of super dads and moms who can do it all and then some (until that whole reality thing kicks in and you eventually wind up a ravaged pile of parenthood goo wondering where you went wrong and whether or not another vitamin smoothie would’ve helped), the challenges and demands of raising a child have only increased and you’d do well to make sure you have a few people you and your little one will be able to count on.

Secondly, adoption requires a lot of legal hoops, and for good reason. A lot of what you’re paying for is the peace of mind that the child you adopt is now fully and legally yours. If you don’t follow all the proper legal procedures, if the birth mother isn’t fully aware of her rights, if she doesn’t sign the right documents or isn’t told the right thing at the right time, if you haven’t dotted all the i’s and crossed all the t’s than the new child you adopted could be taken away. A judge could declare the adoption null and void and you lose. How much would that suck?
An advantage of starting out as a foster parent is the quantity of training and preparation. In addition to the series of classes at the beginning of the process, foster parents receive training on an on-going basis, addressing a variety of parenting issues. To learn more about foster parenting, visit the website of the National Resource Center for Foster Care and Permanency Planning at http://www.hunter.cuny.edu/socwork/nrcfcpp.
Once this home study process is completed and the home study report approved, prospective adoptive parents are typically deemed eligible to adopt, yet the expenses do not stop here. After they have been found eligible to adopt, they may still need to be matched with a birth mother. If they have self-matched, they will not need to pay this fee, however self-matching is not always an easy or efficient journey. Matching fees with vary with each adoption professional and can reach into the thousands.
"In many states, we can determine that someone is eligible to buy a gun in less than 4 hours," Craig Juntunen—founder and CEO of the global advocacy organization Both Ends Burning and executive producer of the documentary STUCK—told BuzzFeed Life. "But during the 3 years that an adoptive family is being proven eligible, the adoptive child is losing developmental days that they will never get back."
Pregnancy Options by Month - ArticlesUnplanned Pregnancy in the First MonthTwo Months Pregnant and Don’t Want the BabyThree Months Pregnant - What Are My Options?Unplanned Pregnancy Options When You're Four Months Pregnant Can I Give My Baby Up for Adoption at 5 Months Pregnant?Six Months Pregnant and Don’t What Baby — What Can I Do?Can I Put My Baby Up for Adoption If I'm Seven Months Pregnant?8 Months Pregnant and Don't Want the Baby - What Can I Do?Nine Months Pregnant and Don't Want the Baby
Once you are home, there are still fees to pay. Your state will require a series of post-placement visits as will the country you adopted from. Each visit will be between $200 and $500. On top of this, in order to ensure that you comply with submitting post-placement reports, many agencies will require a deposit, often in the $1,000 range which will be returned upon completion of all required paperwork. Social worker travel reimbursement will apply to these visits as well.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.
Are you creative, crafty, or crazy good in the kitchen? Consider selling your handywork to promote your hopes to adopt and raising funds to help afford it. It can be a lot easier for some to financially assist your adoption when they receive something in return. Sharing your talent is a great way to fundraise for your adoption.  We held a weekly bake sale all summer and raised $2,000.
7. Most people, when they inquire about your children, really do have good intentions.  Some are just curious.  Some are considering adoption.  Some have already adopted.  Some are grandparents awaiting a grandchild through adoption (we meet a lot of these).  Some are from your child’s country of origin.  Many are innocently curious children.  Be kind.  Give them the benefit of the doubt when they are asking questions—until they have proven that their intentions are not good.
Wow! A lot of the people commenting on here are just vicious. Kevin, thank you for your post. My husband and I recently began the adoption process and are working with a very reputable nonprofit agency that we trust and respect. Adoption is an incredibly personal and important decision for any family to make, especially one that is unable to conceive a child naturally. I think it is incredibly insensitive, ignorant and downright nasty for people to come to your blog and criticize this process. It is cruel to liken adoption to human trafficking and to suggest that people who make this important decision are somehow doing something wrong. Adoption is expensive. I wish it were less expensive, and I am aware of the far less expensive foster to adopt and waiting child programs. EVERY potential parent has the right to choose the form of adoption that is most comfortable for them. For my husband and me, this means the extremely expensive domestic infant adoption. What right does ANYONE have to criticize or second guess the decision that we have made? I applaud your thick skin – mine is not as thick. Shame on those who have chosen to criticize and attack!!
When you’re hoping to adopt a baby, there’s a lot to learn! One of the best ways to prepare for your own path to adoption is to get answers from experts who work with the type of adoption you’re pursuing. On this page, you’ll find expert answers to the questions people ask when they are thinking about adopting a baby, and when they’re considering Lifetime to help them adopt. You’ll learn a lot about what to expect, and get to know Lifetime better too.
A: If nobody in your family or circle of friends has adopted a child, it can be difficult to broach the subject. There are a lot of misconceptions about the adoption process and adopted children in general, and talking about it will invite people to voice what they know. HealthyChildren.org's article, Respectful Ways to Talk about Adoption: A List of Do's & Dont's, will help you learn the lingo, think about what you'd like to use, and educate your family and friends.
There will also be other adoption-related costs while you are in country. You will need to pay for your child’s passport, visa, and visa physical. If you are traveling to China, you will also have the orphanage donation, which is often around $5,000. Additionally, other countries will have childcare fees. (On a second note, this article lays out the real costs of parents choosing to not pay the donation, which is exceedingly important to note.
Choosing Adoption in Difficult Circumstances - ArticlesHomeless, Pregnant and Considering AdoptionCan I Choose Adoption if I Am Pregnant and Addicted?Putting a Child Up for Adoption Without U.S. Citizenship: Is It Possible?Can You Give Your Child Up to the State?"I Don't Want My Child Anymore": What Do I Do?Making an Adoption Plan in Prison Making an Adoption Plan when CPS is Involved Can You Place a Sick or Disabled Child for Adoption?
I stood near her at Starbucks, this woman who was so well-dressed and well-combed and well-showered, and I tried not to think about my own ensemble of dry sweat and yoga pants. She crossed her legs and I noticed that her thighs barely touched each other. One of her high-heel-clad feet swung gently back and forth as she smiled. She lifted one perfectly plucked eyebrow in query as she waited for my answer.
The Hague Convention was enacted by the UN in an attempt to thwart corruption/trafficking and preserve the right of orphaned children to experience the love and protection of a family through adoption. Under the convention, each country has its own program to place children internationally and determines its own adoption fees. For families living in the US and adopting abroad, they can expect to pay fees for processing federal forms and paperwork as well as adoption fees for the specific country they are adopting through. With each country determining different fees and program costs, this area of expense can vary widely.
Ask your adoption professional if they provide any type of financial protection in the event of an adoption disruption. Some national adoption agencies and entities are able to provide some type of financial protection in certain situations and this can make all the difference to a family trying to move forward with their adoption journey after a disruption.
Coat color. Regardless of hair length, cats shed. If you're someone who has a pristine white or light-colored living room and wish to keep it that way, you probably wouldn't be happy with a dark-colored cat. Similarly, if your wardrobe includes a lot of black or navy and you plan to cuddle your kitty, you should probably skip a white or light-colored cat.
×