Adoption creates forever families. Like so many other big commitments, it is one you should feel from the top of your head to the tips of your toes and enter into knowing that like so many other big commitments, it is a decision that will not only affect you, but a child as well—for life. In other words, adoption should not be something entered into until you’ve considered all of the pros and cons and you’re fully prepared to be a family to a child. And while the most obvious and important question to weigh is whether or not you are ready to become a parent, the answer usually isn’t quite as simple as a yes or a no. Before you decide to adopt, ask yourself the following:
If you are prepared for the adoption process, the sometimes unknown, and the possible time needed – that’s great. I work from home, and we are experienced pet owners it is easy for us to adopt. You may not have the same situation. The best thing for you, and your future four-legged family member, is to consider all aspects of your personal circumstance, lifestyle and goals.
Attorney fees can range from pro bono to the moon. Other professionals involved in a private adoption might include a facilitator or consultant to connect the adoptive family with a birth mother, though 26 states “prohibit the payment of any fee for connecting an adoptive family with a pregnant woman or obtaining consent to adoption,” according to the Child Welfare Information Gateway. And this is part of what you’re paying for when you pay an accredited agency: You know that they’re legitimate, not a profiteer merely claiming to be able to connect you with birth parents.
7. Most people, when they inquire about your children, really do have good intentions. Some are just curious. Some are considering adoption. Some have already adopted. Some are grandparents awaiting a grandchild through adoption (we meet a lot of these). Some are from your child’s country of origin. Many are innocently curious children. Be kind. Give them the benefit of the doubt when they are asking questions—until they have proven that their intentions are not good.
When asked a question that feels too personal or improper, you have the right not to answer it -- particularly if it compromises your child's, the birth mother's, or your own privacy. But sometimes you can find a way to respond to a question that's in the best interest of your family and offers some important information about adoption. For instance, when asked "How much did you pay for your baby?" you can explain that the fees you paid your agency and/or orphanage (you don't have to disclose the amount) went toward the facilitation of your adoption and to the early care of your child. In a sense, they're similar to what a pregnant woman pays to her doctor and hospital, you can add.
– Travel Expenses – As seems to be the theme of this article, this number will depend on what country you are adopting from. Some countries require more than one visit before you are able to complete your adoption. Some countries require longer stays than others. Again, make sure to discuss with your agency what travel will be expected of you before deciding on what country you wish to adopt from. Travel costs can range from $5,000 to $10,000.
When using a sliding scale, an agency sets a fee for its services based on the family's income or ability to pay. If you are exploring working with a private agency, ask if this is an option, even if it is not mentioned in the agency's literature. A sliding scale can make the cost of a homestudy, parent preparation classes, or post placement supervision much more affordable for low or middle income families, allowing them to focus their financial plans on raising their children rather than only on adopting them.
There will also be other adoption-related costs while you are in country. You will need to pay for your child’s passport, visa, and visa physical. If you are traveling to China, you will also have the orphanage donation, which is often around $5,000. Additionally, other countries will have childcare fees. (On a second note, this article lays out the real costs of parents choosing to not pay the donation, which is exceedingly important to note.